REST: Part 2

How can you possibly prioritize rest in the chaos of your busy life?

In Part 1, we explored the WHY behind rest. TL;DR:

• Rest as micro-moments that fuel our ability to accomplish any meaningful goal.

• Rest as an inherent human right—one that does not need to be earned.

• Rest as a path to belonging, and a way to release the pressures of fitting into anyone else’s expectations.

Today, let’s explore HOW you can realistically prioritize rest in a busy world with so many competing demands for your time.

After Part 1, the resounding chorus of responses sounded like this:

I gave up resting after I had a kid.

I don’t have time to rest.

Whenever I try to rest, I end up getting stressed out by all the things I know I need to do.

I’ll rest when…[and then when that time comes, something else "important" pops up]

Even as I write this, I find myself singing in the chorus of people who struggle to prioritize rest. Just this past weekend, I zoomed from one thing to the next: setting up for, hosting, and cleaning up from not one but TWO parties. On Saturday, we threw a raucous and joyful birthday party for our daughter. Then bright and early on Sunday, I put on my party hat as Chair of the Open & Affirming Committee at my church, and got to work setting up a rainbow-themed party to celebrate our love and support of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Giving a toast to kick off our Open & Affirming Celebration!

Needless to say, by Sunday afternoon, my heart was full, but my energy was zapped. And yet, there I was, preparing myself to jump headfirst into my laundry list of To-Dos.

I’m fortunate to be married to someone who not only reads my work (and occasionally listens to me), but he holds me accountable to my words and encourages me to practice what I preach. The first thing I did when I got home from the post-party cleanup was…make a list of all the chores I “needed” to complete that afternoon. He dropped what he was doing and promptly set up our hammock in the backyard. Then he urged me to get out there and rest, reminding me that this would fuel my ability to accomplish anything else that day and in the coming week.

(I have to admit, he was…right. Thank you, Wheeler!)

I think it’s important that you know I write about topics like rest not because I’m a masterful expert, but because I’m learning, growing, and exploring in a trial-and-error process right alongside you. When we share examples of both our struggles and the times we prioritize meaningful self-care, it’s like setting up a hammock for a loved one, and reminding each other to get out there and take a few minutes for ourselves before moving onto the next thing. Consider this Substack my metaphorical hammock for you.

Flip the Script of your To-Do List!

Our capitalist culture trains us to rest after you’ve checked every task off your to-do list. What do you think might happen if you did the relaxing thing before the difficult task, rather than the other way around?! I can tell you from my experience this past weekend, a short time in my hammock gave me the energy to later approach all the other tasks that day without resentment or exhaustion.

I implore you to try it out this weekend! If that feels hard or uncomfortable to you, consider your discomfort a sign that it’s THE right thing to do. In her Substack Dear Sugar, Cheryl Strayed (author of Wild) recently wrote:

“Very little of the so-called ‘self-care’ that’s ever been worth a damn in my life has felt like pleasure or ease. That doesn’t mean it’s always felt like agony, but it has always felt like me testing myself against my own ability to endure and persist, to hold on and withstand, to find my courage and heart.”

Does Cheryl mean rest is not self-care? Not at all, dear fighter!

Sometimes the hardest kind of self-care looks like doing nothing.

Others (including your inner-critic!) might label rest as “laziness” when the truth is it’s the most necessary next step that allows you to keep going with all your heart. When the hardest thing imaginable is to rest, or to prioritize joy, consider it a neon vacancy sign alerting you to pull over and practice a difficult act of radical, internal self-care.

This kind of rest is free, and available to you every day, because it doesn’t require a long nap in a hammock (although if your schedule allows, then by all means, please take a nap as often as possible)! If, on the other hand, the idea of a midday nap stresses you out, this defeats the entire purpose of rest! Instead, find ways to integrate small moments in your everyday life. As with anything meaningful, rest is about quality over quantity.

So go ahead; be a rule-breaker! Try resting before you feel you’ve “earned” it. It might feel illegal, but give it a try anyway, and see what happens. I promise you will not get arrested for gifting yourself a few minutes of quiet time. Try to let go of the running list of what’s waiting for you on the other side of your rest time, because that also defeats the purpose. If you’re like me and your To-Do List keeps bouncing around in your head, here’s what I do:

I picture each one like a bouncy ball of energy, I let them know that I’ll give them my full attention in a few minutes, and then I let them continue bouncing along on their frenzied path and out of my headspace.

Admittedly, I haven’t become skilled enough at quieting my monkey mind for meditation to be much of a restful experience. If this is also true for you, I’ve got you covered. I’ll be back next time with tips to help you build a habit of micro-rest, and practical ideas of what you can DO while you rest—because rest doesn’t have to mean sitting quietly and doing nothing.

In the meantime, here’s an idea to get you started:

Journaling is a great way to practice small moments of daily rest in the midst of your chaotic, complicated, demanding life! Schedule 5 minutes for yourself today (seriously, put it in your calendar, and at that time, set your timer for 5 minutes!). You should be able to take 5 minutes for yourself today (if not, let’s talk! During that time, I want you to write your unfiltered thoughts to these prompts related to your To-Do List:

Journal Prompts:

1. What is one task that you’ve been procrastinating?

2. What’s been getting in the way of starting that task?

3. Imagine completing the task, and saying “good enough is enough!” Imagine finishing it and being able to say you gave it your all and that’s enough, even if it’s not perfect. What would it feel like to cross this off your to-do list or your mental load?

If you just took a few minutes to answer these journal prompts, bravo! You’re one step closer to feeling relief from a task that’s been weighing you down.

If you haven’t done the journal prompts (yet), you also deserve a pat on the back, because simply by reading this article, you just completed a moment of meaningful micro-rest!

Keep practicing these restful moments everyday--you deserve it just for being you.

Know someone who could benefit from micro-moments of rest? Please do them a favor and share this with them as your metaphorical hammock to them!