Guiding Word of the Year Part 2:

Introducing my 2025 Word and what it has to do with my recent TV appearance!

My Guiding Word of the Year for 2025 is…

IMPRFCT.

Yes, you read that correctly: my guiding word of the year is, in fact, IMPRFCT, spelled imperfectly.

For more about the Guiding Word of the Year practice, and some tips on how to choose a word that’s meaningful to you, check out Part 1: Forget New Year’s Resolutions. Don’t worry, it’s never too late in the year to pick a Guiding Word of your own!

Normally, my Guiding Word of the Year serves as a North Star for my decision-making process. For example, my word for 2024 was JOY, so anything I chose to do needed to bring me joy in one way or another. This doesn’t mean that I had to be happy all the time, or that I avoided hard things. In fact, I was able to embrace times of grief last year while harnessing the power of duality by finding ways to see glimmers of joy mixed in with the pain.

For more about how I infused more JOY into my life, and learned so much in the process, check out my related article over at Seacoast Moms.

For many years, I’ve been a self-proclaimed “recovering perfectionist.” But this year, I’m learning to not only accept the imperfections, but to take this a step further and actually learn to embrace them with the JOY I focused on cultivating last year. My hope is to find new ways to laugh with and learn from the imperfections. Good grief, we need as much laugher and learning as possible these days while the global storm of enraging imperfections seems to spiral out of control around us.

Why embrace imperfections rather than just accept them?
My theory is that embracing imperfections will cultivate more joy, patience, and freedom (my last 3 Guiding Words of the Year). When I let go of the need for myself or situations to be as close to “perfect” or ideal as possible, it frees me up to experience life with more playfulness, gratitude, and joy—even when things don’t go according to plan, or when I fail to meet my own unreasonable expectations.

How to make “IMPRFCT” decisions?
Since I usually use my Guiding Word of the Year as a north star for difficult decisions, I first dismissed my idea of “imperfect” as my word for 2025; it seemed like pretty masochistic way to set myself for failure. But something inside me nudged me to go with it and trust that even imperfections can help guide successful decision-making.

And now, less than 2 months into the year, I’m so glad I chose this word! I’ve already discovered it snaps me out of my usual overthinking process. I used to get stuck analyzing every little decision in an attempt to identify the best possible outcome—as if each decision was a master chess championship match (note: I never even learned the basics of real chess).

I used to think of perfection along a theoretical continuum, with the goal to get as close to the ideal as possible for any given situation. I think I had a diagram in my head that looked something like this, and I subconsciously pulled it up every time I entered a decision-making process:

But as I began to let go of this silly continuum, I started relying more on my intuition to make decisions. Intuition is not about right/wrong, and it certainly doesn’t live in the same 2-dimensional universe as my former linear concept of imperfect—>perfect.

With this, it’s easier to make decisions knowing that the goal is no longer to get as close to “perfect” as possible. Instead, I continue to remind myself that we’re ALL simply doing the best we can with the information and skills we have in any given moment. This creates an expansive, 3-dimensional space to tolerate and even appreciate mistakes in myself and others. I think this kind of grace is precisely what we all need more of these days.

Personal Examples: A few ways IMPRFCT is showing up for me:

1. A new kind of favorite family photo
Not to throw shade on all those perfectly posed family photos with the color-coordinated outfits (been there, done that, have the embarrassing, overpriced print hanging on my wall), but for the last few years my family has opted for holiday cards featuring a spontaneous selfie taken in a moment of pure joy. For our 2024 holiday card, we went with a perfectly imperfect photo taken just after my husband took a digger on the snow tube and my daughter’s hat had escaped her rebellious, static-filled head. The photo is a reminder for us to embrace all the moments that come our way, even when they don’t seem “picture-perfect.”

2. Loving the actual “flaws” themselves
I’m not one to compare, especially when it comes to kids’ artwork, but which one of these snowmen do you think I love more?

If you guessed the “imperfect” one on the right, you’re correct! My daughter made this years ago when she was in preschool, and since then, I’ve hung it up on my office wall every winter. I can tell her teacher made the one on the left and while it fits the perfect mold of what a snowman “should” look like, I love the other one not despite its flaws, but because of them. When I look at these so-called imperfections, I can picture my little girl hard at work, and having so much creative fun making her little snow-woman for me. In this snow-woman, I also see how much growth she made as a tiny human; the year before she made it, she never would have been able to cut shapes like this out all by herself, or had the patience to strategically paste them into a recognizable face. And her snow people today look entirely different! The whole beautiful piece reminds me to let go of my own desire to strive toward perfection. Because when I stop beating myself up for my shortcomings and embrace the flaws, it opens me up to a whole new world of possibilities…

3. I stepped outside the solar system of my comfort zone to support a cause I believe in…

When I learned the NH State Senate Health & Human Services Committee was scheduled to vote on a bill that improves maternal mental health, I knew I had a relevant story to share, and my good friend,

Tara Ryan

encouraged me to join her at the Senate Hearing.

Despite not loving public speaking, I went, and I did it anyway. I spoke on a very personal topic that I’ve honestly avoided talking to anyone about—including my closest friends and family members. You can read more about what I shared in my testimony to the Senate, including direct quotes from my speech in this Seacoastonline article.

For almost 11 years, I’ve carried around a level shame that I didn’t even know was there. Because in those days when I was living each moment by my newborn’s side in the NICU, I was not only grateful for her life and her health, I was also pretty depressed. I mean, how could I have NOT been depressed, watching my baby struggle to survive while also watching my self-funded maternity leave days whittle away in a sterile hospital environment. The fact is, despite siting there in one of the world’s best hospitals every day for 5 straight weeks, I was never screened for postpartum depression (PPD). Not once. To this day, I don’t know whether or not I had it—I was too focused on my baby to let that thought even cross my mind. Most states today have vastly improved their policies and procedures when it comes to PPD, but the reality is that New Hampshire has not kept up with the times when it comes to support for new moms. Y’all, my friends in Texas were astonished to learn their conservative state has vastly better maternal mental health support compared to what is currently offered to moms in NH in 2025. I’m proud to say that I’m part of the baby steps (pun intended) of positive change, because the Senate Committee voted unanimously to advance the legislation! There’s a lot more work to be done, but I refuse to let perfection get in the way of progress!

Once the news segment came out, I wondered how I was able to speak so candidly at the Senate Hearing and also manage to sound somewhat coherent in front of the news camera afterward. I did it because I’d let go of my desire to appear as close to perfect as possible. Embracing the perceived imperfections that brought me shame for more than a decade allowed me to put this great cause ahead of the fear of what anyone might think of me for what I had to say. And let me tell you, somehow the topic of supporting moms’ mental health elicits some strong public opinions, because I’ve been astonished to see some hateful responses on the new station’s social media accounts. The old me would have spiraled. The new me focuses on the outpouring of support I’ve received from the people who really matter to me, and how proud I am of MYSELF for speaking up about this important issue.

The Result 2 Months In…

Once I started approaching every decision and situation knowing it will be filled with details or outcomes that don’t meet my standards or hopes, I’ve been able to embrace the imperfections with a hug of recognition. In fact, when I notice them, I’ve been trying to greet them with a bit of laughter. I’m replacing my old harsh inner critic’s responses with new greetings like: “Oh hello, inevitable imperfection! I’ve been wondering how you’d show up this time!”

And this, my friends, is why songs like “Oops, I did it again!” made it onto my 2025 IMPRFCT playlist! I hope you enjoy this mix as much as I enjoyed making it! I like to blast it while doing mundane chores, or trying to keep my cool in rush hour traffic.

I’m not simply resigning myself to living along the inevitable continuum of imperfections, but I’m enjoying the fact that there can be a levity to it! When I look back at my life someday, I’d like to notice all the times I was able to laugh when things didn’t go my way. This year, I’m choosing to laugh more at myself when I make silly mistakes (which means I’m laughing more than ever these days)!

Now excuse me while I go practice the art of embracing imperfections by coloring outside the lines with my daughter—on purpose—literally and figuratively!! I hope you’ll give it a try too!

Drop a comment to share some ways that you have fun with imperfections!

2 Related Resources:

1. From The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele:

“When we need life to be a certain way, we get restricted and tight, rather than open to the current of life. But each time we ride the rapids, we become a more skillful paddler.”

“Living skillfully does not mean that things go the way we want them to; it means that we are equipped to gracefully meet whatever life greets us with”

2. Emmy-nominated poet and multi-platinum songwriter, IN-Q’s powerful performance of his poem, “Birdsong”:

“We are perfect in our flaws.

Birds don’t care whether we listen, they don’t wait for our applause…

Show me the unseen stuff!

Don’t invite me over only after you have cleaned up.

Perfect makes me want to kick my feet up.

No one’s living in a catalogue IKEA dreamed up.”

I bought myself a silver “loved” pendant for myself on my birthday last year as a reminder that I am loved just as I am. This helps me spread more unconditional love in the world. I wear this pendant almost every day. The card it came on now has a prominent spot on my mirror as a daily reminder. Here’s your reminder: you, too, do not have to be perfect because you are perfectly loved.